"When my teenage son was struggling, my partner reached him in ways I couldn’t"

Excerpts from "Lola's" letter to her new partner "Harry" to thank him for the support he offered Lola's teenage son following the divorce and his own falling out with friends. The full letter is linked at the end:

"It’s never easy coming into a ready-made family of two teenagers and their mother, all still raw from the rupture of divorce. Never having had kids yourself, maybe it was harder still, when you didn’t really understand them or their situation. But try you did."

"You first stepped up in your new role as a friend, teenage-listener and confidant. Because you weren’t really their stepdad. Everyone was older when you arrived and they had a dad already. You never tried to be that either."

"He came home and this time I knew it was serious, because nothing helped. My normal mum strategies didn’t sit right, and everything felt clunky and misshapen. But once again you were there. A listening ear. A calm presence, which if I’m being entirely truthful, is not always your default position. Maybe we’re all a better version of ourselves in a crisis."

"Watching him being able to talk to you without judgment was like watching a wilted flower unfurl in sunlight. He’d been heavy with bewilderment, shock, but most harmful of all, shame. And I was no stranger to seeing someone struggle with shame, having lost one brother to addiction, and one to suicide. You go on high alert after someone decides to call time on their life and there were elements in this scenario that were heartbreakingly familiar. I was afraid. But watching you step in taught me that I didn’t always have to be the one to fix things and keep everything together. It wasn’t always my job; and that lifted a load and made me lighter, and probably easier to be around too."

"With you at the healing helm, on went the games console. The walks in the forest. The cocktail masterclasses. Over the next few months, along with time, Fifa and spicy margaritas were also the great healers. But the most marvellous magic of all was your listening ear, your patience, your unwavering support."

Link to the letter in the Guardian.